It's been increasingly difficult to create a Christmas list as I've gotten older. No more lengthy lists requiring endless mall visits or early morning wrapping for mom and dad. For what else could I really ask, you know? With a great school, wonderful family and friends, and plenty of traditions, there isn't much I need or want. When my parents ask for gift ideas, I can't offer them more than a few book titles or a bow tie suggestions. While I can't ask for much under the Christmas tree, there are a few running-related wishes I have. Not for anyone in particular. Not entirely practical. Christmas running wishes nevertheless. Training during the winter is rarely pleasant, but it's what make the spring goals achievable. Plowed roads and shoveled sidewalks would be wonderful, but I couldn't be more thankful for Comm Ave. and its immaculate carriageway during the winter. I'm more than willing to pay someone for a path shoveled around the Res. It's my favorite loop with the greatest view of both BC and the Boston skyline, and I'd really like to avoid slipping into the Res itself. If I just make it through these next months of winter running without falling again, I'd be thrilled.
What's the most badass things about training during the winter? The frozen beard. There's nothing I want more than to be able to grow a beard. I have absolutely nothing to show for these past few months of not shaving. If anything, it's a sad imitation of Spencer Pratt's beard circa The Hills. All I want is to come back from a brutally cold run with a badass frozen beard to show for it. Maybe that's vain. Maybe I'm just bitter that I'm too much of a cherub to even grow a beard.
For that dog who has barked at me almost every day for the past two years, I'd like for you to have some peace of mind. I'm not so sure what's so threatening or frightening or intimidating about some scrawny boy running in split shorts or running tights that drives you mad. Every time I near your yard, I hope in vain that you won't bolt to the fence and stand on your hind legs, ready to take me down. While I'm relieved that you haven't hopped the fence yet, please know that I am not nearly as malicious as you perceive me. I'm just looking to log a few miles.
Speaking of split shorts and running tights. If I could just exist and wear my short shorts or running tights without getting the oddest looks, that would be enough. I get it -- they are quite short, the running tights are quite tight -- but it's what I wear to train. I'm not asking to wear a flannel and running tights to class (though that sounds quite warm and comfortable) nor am I asking to wear my split shorts when I go out on the weekends. Can I not just make a quick stop in the dining hall for some post-run Cho or chocolate milk without some disproving gazes? That would be enough. Really it would.
An end to after-run-stomach-aches. There are few things more terrible than lying in bed, writhing in lactic acid agony, asking existential questions. How many hours have I spent curled up on the bed, on the floor, in the car after practice or a run? These most usually occur after intense workouts or long runs. After sacrificing your body during a workout, the stomach aches exacerbate the pain and the exhaustion. Maybe it's just another sign of an honest, hard effort for a workout. Along with this stomach issue, let's just eliminate all kinds of gastrointestinal distress during runs and races. There's nothing else to be said about that.
What about some better tasting gels for race day? Some of the gels just taste foul, like the tears of missed personal records or something. Even the gels that agree most with me aren't terrible pleasant. A gel equivalent to Picky Bars would be the perfect stocking stuffer.
Give me some great runs with friends over break and at school, and that would make winter training more bearable and certainly more fun. Winter training is brutal without a team or friend to run with, to make those freezing workouts, those dark runs easier.
What would be the greatest Christmas gift of all would be an injury-free, successful training period for Boston. If it were guaranteed that I could log the all the miles without falling and keep raising money for WEF, I'd be the happiest boy on Christmas morning.
For everyone celebrating Christmas, I'd like to wish you a wonderful holiday. Enjoy family and traditions and Christmas morning runs, if you decide to log some miles tomorrow morning. It may be frigid and icy, but try to stay warm and stay on your feet.
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